9 Daily Habit that will make you happier

by Geoffrey James

Happiness is the only true measure of personal success. Making other people happy is the highest expression of success, but it's almost impossible to make others happy if you're not happy yourself.

With that in mind, here are nine small changes that you can make to your daily routine that, if you're like most people, will immediately increase the amount of happiness in your life:

1. Start each day with expectation.

If there's any big truth about life, it's that it usually lives up to (or down to) your expectations. Therefore, when you rise from bed, make your first thought: "something wonderful is going to happen today." Guess what? You're probably right.

2. Take time to plan and prioritize.

The most common source of stress is the perception that you've got too much work to do.  Rather than obsess about it, pick one thing that, if you get it done today, will move you closer to your highest goal and purpose in life. Then do that first.

3. Give a gift to everyone you meet.

I'm not talking about a formal, wrapped-up present. Your gift can be your smile, a word of thanks or encouragement, a gesture of politeness, even a friendly nod. And never pass beggars without leaving them something. Peace of mind is worth the spare change.

4. Deflect partisan conversations.

Arguments about politics and religion never have a "right" answer but they definitely get people all riled up over things they can't control. When such topics surface, bow out by saying something like: "Thinking about that stuff makes my head hurt."

5. Assume people have good intentions.

Since you can't read minds, you don't really know the "why" behind the "what" that people do. Imputing evil motives to other people's weird behaviors adds extra misery to life, while assuming good intentions leaves you open to reconciliation.

6. Eat high quality food slowly.

Sometimes we can't avoid scarfing something quick to keep us up and running. Even so, at least once a day try to eat something really delicious, like a small chunk of fine cheese or an imported chocolate. Focus on it; taste it; savor it.

7. Let go of your results.

The big enemy of happiness is worry, which comes from focusing on events that are outside your control. Once you've taken action, there's usually nothing more you can do. Focus on the job at hand rather than some weird fantasy of what might happen.

8. Turn off "background" TV.

Many households leave their TVs on as "background noise" while they're doing other things. The entire point of broadcast TV is to make you dissatisfied with your life so that you'll buy more stuff. Why subliminally program yourself to be a mindless consumer?

9. End each day with gratitude.

Just before you go to bed, write down at least one wonderful thing that happened. It might be something as small as a making a child laugh or something as huge as a million dollar deal. Whatever it is, be grateful for that day because it will never come again.

http://www.inc.com/geoffrey-james/9-daily-habits-that-will-make-you-happier.html?nav=pop

Feeling Negative? How to Overcome it

By Geoffrey James

Because you're a human being, you're going to feel emotions while you're at work. It's hoped that the bulk of your emotions will be positive, such as excitement, wonder, gratitude, and joy.
However, it's inevitable that you'll also feel some negative emotions. But here's the thing: The way you handle your negative emotions will largely determine how successful you'll eventually become.

After all, it's easy to manage a business or do a job when everything's all sweetness and light. What's difficult is making things happen when times are rough and things don't work out the way you'd prefer.

With that in mind, here are the six most common negative emotions that people feel at work, along with a plan to transform those emotions into something to help you become more, rather than less, successful.

1. If you're feeling fear...

Step back for a second and try to see the situation objectively. Ask yourself: "Is my business or career truly at risk?" If not, then you may just be feeling nervous and excited rather than fearful, just like when you get on a roller coaster. So enjoy the ride.
If you decide that the situation is truly serious, then do something physical, like taking a walk, to clear your mind. When you return, create an action plan for how you're going to handle the situation right now.
Think of all the times that you've successfully handled similar situations or other situations that were personally challenging. Have faith that you'll be able to do the same this time. Then take the first step in your action plan.

2. If you're feeling rejected...

Decide whether you actually respect the opinion of the person who "rejected" you. If the rejection came from an idiot, a blowhard, or a mooncalf, a "rejection" is actually a backhanded compliment.
If you DO respect the other person's opinion, recognize that you may be interpreting the situation incorrectly. The only way to find out is to ask. Say something like: "The other day, you said ____ and I felt hurt. Can you clarify what happened?"
Finally, realize that, in a very real sense, "rejection" is an illusion. It almost always stems from a difference in the "rules" by which people interpret events. Probably you got "rejected" because the other person had different rules. So where's the sting?

3. If you're feeling angry...

Your first task is get some distance from the situation. If you can, get up and go for a walk, or do something that will distract you for a moment. If you can't take any of those actions, use Mom's old standby and slowly count from one to 10.
Now that you've calmed yourself down, pinpoint the reason that you're angry. You will find that in EVERY case, it's because somebody has violated a rule or standard that is deeply important to you.
Rather then "blowing up" or "letting off steam," figure out how to communicate to the other person the importance of that rule or standard so that the same situation doesn't recur in the future.

4. If you're feeling frustrated...

At work, this emotion emerges when you feel that your results aren't what you expected, given the amount of work and effort that you've expended. You know your goal is achievable, but it continues to seem out of reach.
Your first step here is to reassess your plan and your behavior. Is this really the best way to achieve this goal? If not, your frustration is telling you that you need to change the plan and the execution of the plan.
If your plan is solid and your behavior appropriate, it's time to exercise patience. Stop worrying about the goal. Let go of your results and concentrate on the behavior and have faith that "God's delays are not God's denials."

5. If you're feeling inadequate...

Welcome to the club! Whether people admit it or not, even those who seem the most self-confident secretly worry that they're not going to measure up or that they're ill prepared for the challenges ahead.
The wonderful thing about this emotion is that it's the easiest to handle. Your sense of inadequacy, like everyone else's, stems from a lack of skills, experience, and strategies in an area where you'd like to be successful.
Your plan is therefore simple: Decide that you're going to work on your skills in this area until you master them. Find a role model or a mentor. Read books or take seminars. Worst case, you'll learn in the "school of hard knocks." It's just part of life!

6. If you're feeling stressed...

There's no question that today's business world puts extraordinary demands on people's time and energy. Whether you're an entrepreneur, an executive, a line manager, or a worker, you're constantly being asked to do more with less.
Even so, you (like everybody else) are constrained by the limits of time and space. Regardless of how you feel about it, you've got a limited amount of time to get things done and to keep yourself healthy and happy at the same time.
Therefore, the best way to use stress is as a signal that it's time to prioritize. Do what's important rather than what's urgent. Remember: Twenty percent of your work generally produces 80 percent of your results! So focus on the 20 percent!
By the way, the above is loosely based on some notes I took at an Anthony Robbins seminar a couple of decades ago, along with additional perspectives gleaned from the brilliant speaker and savant Art Mortell.

http://www.inc.com/geoffrey-james/how-to-handle-negative-emotions-at-work.html?nav=pop

Use Nervous Energy to Your Advantage

by Lisa B Marshall

Speaking in front of others involves risk. The risk of making a mistake. The risk of not knowing something. The risk of being judged. The risk of appearing stupid.

How to overcome speaker’s anxiety is probably the single most common question I get. For some people, the fear of speaking publicly is debilitating. They avoid making presentations, attending meetings, or even going to dinner parties because of this fear. Others mention physical responses: turning red, a shaky voice, feeling sick. For others it’s just a mild sensation of nervous energy, a dry mouth or maybe a faster pulse.

But here’s the secret to great public speaking: It requires nervous energy!

In my experience, it is rare is for someone NOT to feel some nervous energy when standing up in front of an audience. Whether we are about to be attacked by a tiger, or about to deliver a speech, the brain perceives physical or psychological stress. Instantly, it starts pumping chemicals through your body. Your heart beats faster. Your blood pressure increases. Your senses sharpen.

Having this response is a GOOD thing. Extra nervous energy helps us. Research suggests it can help you perform tasks more efficiently and can improve memory. Good stress is something we want. Good stress stimulates us. Use the energy to show your passion for the subject matter of your presentation.  Use the energy for a stronger voice and varied inflection. Use the energy to move around the room. Use the energy to encourage interaction.

By channeling your nerves into creating positive attributes to your speech, you can utilize them to your advantage.

Liberate Yourself from Fear

Eleanor Roosevelt once said: "You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do." This quote states the problem and the solution. We must stop running away from things that frighten us, face our fears head on, and then do the thing we fear the most.

Most of the time we'll find out that the "thing" was not that scary after all. Our imaginations had behaved like a super fertilizer and grown a monstrosity in our minds.

Remember, our imaginations are incredibly powerful. They can work against us, creating images that leave us paralyzed with fear. But they can also work for us, building a world where everything we do is an adventure, a miracle. And the most amazing thing is that we hold the power to control our minds -- we allow fear to dominate our lives or we choose to dominate fear. Those are our only two choices.

Problems are good, not bad. Welcome them and become the solution.

- Mark Victor Hansen